Should have been, could have been another year with you. Another year with laughs, smiles, memories, another year with butterflies, happiness and love, but it was a year, a long year, without you. Cold. Broken. Lost. Confused. The feeling of not even knowing you anymore cuts me like a knife and to know your happy with another feels like someone pouring salt into those cuts. I never thought this date would be spent without you, how am I suppose to treat this day just like any other when I’m so used to having you here? December 4, 2009 was the best day and I remember everything about that day into detail, you became something so much more than just a best friend and I want to go back and I want to fix everything, every little stupid fucking mistake I’ve done wrong. I wish I wouldn’t have been so fucking selfish and I wish I could take it all back, but that’s all in the past and I can’t take it back. The years spent with you were the utmost absolute best years and I honestly thank you for every memory, every laugh and smile and even the tears, pain and hurt we’ve both put one another through. I’m not mad or bitter anymore because I’ve felt every possible feeling with you and i know it was real. Honestly until this day I can still say I love you, always and unconditionally, with that I’ve learned that true love means to still love someone and be happy for them even if it means to be without that person. If in sometime in the future fate decides to let our paths cross I can only hope you smile and remember everything we onced shared and bring you back to me, and if not i wish you the best and just know I love you. Now is when I just have to be willing to accept reality and to call things what they are even when it’s hardest…